


the monsters turned out to be just trees

by malfoysire



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Depression, Friends to Lovers, Jughead POV, M/M, One Shot, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Third Person POV, mention of suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-06
Updated: 2019-04-06
Packaged: 2020-01-05 23:02:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18375875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/malfoysire/pseuds/malfoysire
Summary: when archie goes missing, jughead has to come to terms with his long buried feelings while battling with his day to day life without him.but can he save him in time?





	the monsters turned out to be just trees

**Author's Note:**

> tried a new style of writing! adding another trigger warning here for mentions of suicide/attempted suicide.

jughead didn’t know when he started noticing things about archie.

the way he smiled so wide that his eyes crinkled after playing a song, a look only reserved for jughead. the way the morning daylight peeked through the curtains and made his hair glimmer like candlelight. his ears that tinged red when he was embarrassed. his bottom lip caught between his teeth when he was concentrating. his words stumbling over each other when he was too excited to keep his sentences straight. 

his lingering touches.

the almost imperceptible glances to the brunette's lips.

how even after they both knew they were way too old to be sleeping in the same bed, he would crawl in next to jughead every night without question.

things a friend shouldn’t notice about another friend.

when he started comparing archie to betty (god knows why), betty just didn’t seem _right._ she was all soft curves and round cheeks while archie was sharp angles and strong arms. betty’s voice seemed to bounce off the walls in a high pitched tone, but archie’s was low and caring and soothing enough to reassure anyone of anything. 

most of all, he noticed the night archie went missing.

-

it was a another normal day in riverdale, well, as normal as riverdale could get. the sun rose and set, and nothing seemed out of the ordinary. that was, until jughead’s phone rang.

fred andrews was on the other line, voice full of panic and desperation, failing to maintain a cool composure. 

“have you seen archie? he didn’t come home last night and it’s been an entire day. i thought he might be with you but fp said he hadn’t been around. did you two go off somewhere?”

jughead’s heart slowed.

his breathing halted.

the amount of people that would gladly pay to have archie ‘disappear’, seemed to grow by the day. he could be dead for all jughead knew. kidnapped, tortured, or left bleeding out in a ditch somewhere. 

“no, i haven’t been with him since the start of the week, do you know anything else? did he tell you anything?”

jughead asked hastily, his mind going down a dark road. there were millions of possibilities and none of them seemed to end well. 

something was very, very wrong. archie would never go anywhere without telling his dad. and if he did, jughead would certainly know about it.

fred andrews didn’t have any answers, he was just as clueless as him. fred decided to call the police and report him officially missing. jughead had to ask what they were supposed to do while they waited.

“there’s nothing we can do.”

-

it was radio silence for two weeks. if it wasn’t for the constant news updates and posters stapled to telephone poles, it was as if archie had never existed. 

jughead was seeing his face everywhere.

any time he saw someone in a letterman jacket, they turned, and for just a split second, he could’ve sworn it was archie. his mind was playing tricks on him.

jughead felt as if he had interrogated the entire town. he wrote down every story, every tiny piece of information he could draw out of anyone who was willing to share.

veronica claimed he left without a word to her, and that he had been acting strangely for a while leading up to it. zoning out mid-conversation, fiddling nervously with his hands, spending hours going god-knows-where before reappearing at her doorstep.

every day was a living nightmare for jughead.

the anxiety never subsided. bags began to form under his eyes from restless nights spent worrying about archie. from the moment he woke up, time would drag on so slowly he could’ve sworn a month had passed by the time he went to bed. he was running out of clues. 

his first suspicion immediately went to hiram. it seemed obvious, but hiram had the perfect alibi.

it could’ve been a hit job from one of his friends, but he had no idea who. despite his efforts, it was surely a lost cause. 

the redhead was nowhere to be found.

jughead started to slowly draw away from betty, his visits became less frequent as it took a little too long for jughead to say ‘i love you’ back. it all started to feel meaningless, empty. he began to realize how _fake_ everything was. _spend time with betty. go to school. write for the blue and gold. stop gang members from committing crimes._

being with archie felt like life was in full bloom. his laughter would fill an entire room, his heart would smile through his eyes. 

archie was hot summer nights. he was rainfall on a rooftop. he was a soft melody. he was fireflies and shooting stars and breakfast in bed and all the good things in the world.

that was what was real, jughead decided. that was what mattered.

and he would hold onto that as long as he possibly could. 

even if it killed him.

-

two months had passed and jughead was beginning to lose his faith in god.

he tried so hard to believe, to beg for someone, _anyone,_ to bring archie back to him.

but hope was hard to hold onto when part of your own soul pulled a vanishing act.

jughead was plagued with agonizing worry. he’d bite at his fingernails until he’d bleed. he’d watch the news non-stop, the television screen burning into his retinas, just in case there’d be an update on archie.

just in case.

the world started to move on without him.

betty, shockingly, told jughead he’d have to get back to normal. to return to business as usual. there was nothing they could do.

as if their best friend meant _nothing._

his teachers stopped giving him slack on his assignments.

the dozens of posters that hung around town began to be replaced.

they were erasing archie.

fred andrews invited jughead to stay over one night. to fill the void that archie left. to make jughead feel better. (or so he supposed)

since that day, jughead didn’t sleep anywhere else.

what once was a second home to him, became his only one.

he could tell fred was comforted by his company. he was a reminder of what he had lost. something to project his fatherly advice on, as if it would have gone to waste if he didn’t. 

it was easier when archie’s bed sheets still smelled like him. jughead would tangle himself up in them, breathing in his scent. if he closed his eyes and imagined hard enough, it was as if the redhead was lying right next to him like always, pretending to be asleep when jughead would turn around to face him.

but fred had washed them and now they only smelled like fresh laundry and all traces of archie were gone.

when jughead realized, he pulled the covers over his head and sobbed into his pillow the whole night and the entire day after. fred never questioned jughead on why he didn’t go to school.

-

_“do you believe in fate?” a younger, fresh-faced jughead asked, turning to his best friend, while they laid side by side in the dewy grass. he wasn’t sure why he asked the question. he just felt like he had to. archie stared at the stars above quietly for a few moments. “of course i do.” he answered, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world._

_“why?”_

_“because your dad met my dad in high school. and then they both stayed in the same town, and had us at the same time. and we met each other during a playdate. if fate wasn’t real, it wouldn’t make sense that the universe pushed us together. we were destined to be best friends before we were even born.”_

_archie’s words felt like a confession that jughead couldn’t quite comprehend. archie’s head turned to face jughead, and they both just gazed at each other in silence, their breath intermingling._

_jughead’s face was warm, despite the cool chill of the air._

_“well then i’m glad it is, because you’re the only person i like to hang out with and i wouldn’t want anyone else to be my best friend.”_

_archie simply smiled._

_"me too.”_

-  
it was 1:30 am when jughead awoke randomly in the middle of the night. 

his phone screen was glowing, and when he went to look at it his entire body immediately sprung to action.

(1) MISSED CALL  
FROM: ARCHIE 

VOICEMAIL  
FROM: ARCHIE

jughead frantically pressed the button to listen to archie’s voicemail, his heart racing a million miles a minute. 

“jughead….” archie’s pained voice slurred, full of exhaustion and despair. “i...i did something stupid...please...i need you….”

jughead jumped out of bed, not bothering to change. he started to sprint down the stairs, letting the door swing shut behind him as he left the house, archie’s voice still playing from his speakers.

“i’m scared jug...i don’t wanna die. i’m sorry. please, please, please come. i love you so much.”

jughead was shaking as he got into his car. what did he mean he didn’t want to die? his sight began to blur as he started the engine, panic overtaking him. where was he? _why didn’t he fucking say where he was? _jughead screamed and pounded his fists on the wheel. he fumbled for his phone, calling archie over and over again, but was met with no answer.__

____

____

_archie’s going to die because of me._

it was all jughead’s fault.

-

__

_many years ago_

_archie and jughead decided to go on a little adventure. they had successfully snuck away from the watchful eyes of their parents and wandered through the woods. what once was a field evolved into a forest before they knew it, the trees seeming to multiply around them. neither of them were sure how many miles they walked (if they had walked any at all) before they both reached the most wonderful thing either of them had ever seen._

_an old wooden bridge sat arched over a sparkling stream, the sunlight dazzling their eyes and dancing on the water. there was a magical feeling in the air, like they had discovered a secret they weren’t supposed to know. the two boys excitedly made their way to the underside of the bridge, skipped rocks across the brook and splashed each other. their giggles echoed all around them and it was like they were invincible. nothing in the world could touch them. not there. it was their safe space, their bubble where no one else existed but them. the sun shined brighter here._

_hours had passed and jughead and archie sat centimeters apart, their toes digging into the soil beneath them. their knees lightly brushed against each other as they watched the daylight fade away._

_“i wish we could stay here forever.” archie admitted softly._

_jughead met his gaze and nodded in agreement._

_“maybe one day, we’ll run away together and live right here. we’ll eat berries from the bushes and drink water from the river and we won’t have to worry about anything. we’ll just play all day long and never have to to school again."_

_archie said ecstatically, getting lost in his own fantasy. they both knew that dream would never come true. but for the moment, they both lived in that idea._

_“i’d like that.” jughead whispered back._

_“and if our parents start to worry, and we have to go home, we can just come here whenever we want. we’ll just call the other person and we’ll meet here. in our special spot. and we can pretend like it’s forever. promise me you’ll show up?”_

_archie asked, sounding as if he was mourning something he hadn’t yet lost._

_the corner of jughead’s mouth lifted._

_“i promise.” he swore, lifting his pinkie._

-

of course he’d be there. jughead felt so stupid. 

his foot slammed on the gas and the wind whipped violently around his car, and suddenly everything made sense.

the way jughead thought about archie constantly, long after he’d gone home.

the way betty felt more like an afterthought compared to him.

the way his chest clenched just a little tighter when archie embraced him.

the way that jughead could’ve swore it’d be impossible to ever see the whole world at once, until he found it staring back at him.

this time, he really noticed.

jughead loved archie.

he was in love with him,

and he always had been.

if only it hadn’t taken this long for him to realize.

jughead bolted through the woods as fast as his legs could take him. the way to get to the bridge was almost second nature to him, ingrained in his muscle memory. 

they came here when archie had his first kiss, and he panicked because he didn’t like it even though he was supposed to.

they came here when jughead’s parents separated and jughead was living on the street.

they came here when they started dating betty and veronica, and sat in silence for hours.

and now jughead was going to be too late.

“archie?!” he shouted at the top of his lungs over and over again.

_please god, if you’re out there, don’t let him be dead. take me instead if you have to. just don’t take him._

“jughead?” 

archie drawled, standing on the top of the bridge, swaying back and forth. 

“don’t move! archie please don’t move i’m coming!” 

jughead dashed up the hill, every muscle in his body screaming.

when he finally reached archie, the boy was facing away from him, his feet dangerously close to the edge. he was clearly intoxicated and jughead couldn’t move.

“i don’t know what i’m doing anymore...everything’s my fault. the black hood, hiram, all of it. so many people are dead because of me. everyone would be better off if i wasn’t alive.”

jughead had never heard archie sound so tormented.

he had no idea he was feeling this way, that he was going through this. not once did archie bring up his feelings, or mention the trauma he went through. jughead always thought he’d just want to keep it to himself, that it wasn’t that serious and it was easier to deal with alone.

he had been so wrong.

jughead couldn’t find the right words to say, but he had to think fast or archie was going to take one more step forward.

“hey...archie. come on, look at me.” he beckoned softly to the damaged boy in front of him. 

every second that passed stretched on for hours before archie slowly turned his head to meet his eyes, tears falling down his cheeks. 

“you aren’t to blame for any of this, do you understand? i know it may seem really hard to see it right now, but you have survivor’s guilt. you didn’t kill anybody, only sick people who tried to take advantage of you and use you as a scapegoat did. if they didn’t exist, no one would have died. it’s all on them, archie. you aren’t the cause of this, you’re a victim. this isn’t your burden to carry. you don’t deserve what you’re going through.”

archie shook his head, his cries coming out louder than before.

“it doesn’t matter, jug. i have panic attacks every day. i lock myself in the bathroom and i’m just suffocated by all my thoughts, and the walls close in on me. i see their faces everywhere, their corpses. i have nightmares every night, the t-thoughts don’t s-stop, they never stop, god why the fuck won’t they stop?!” archie clenched his fists and yelled into the sky, getting too close to the brink. 

“archie i swear to you, it’ll get better. it’ll be the hardest thing you’ll have to do in your life, but you can work through this. we can work through this together. everyone cares about you so much, more than you’d ever believe. i’m sorry you felt like you couldn’t talk to me about this, i’m sorry i didn’t pay more attention. but they need you, archie. i need you. please, step down from the edge.”

jughead was crying, begging him to stop, helplessly trying to talk some sense into him. archie stopped making sound all together and jughead was paralyzed with fear.

“i love you archie, and i’m never going to leave you.”

a pause.

archie looked back at him one more time.

“promise?” 

he breathed, his voice trembling.

“i promise.” 

with that, archie fell backwards into jughead and collapsed into his arms as they both tumbled onto the wood below. jughead weeped in relief, and wrapped his arms around a sobbing archie as tightly as he could, stroking his thumb in circles on his skin, his face in the crook of his neck.

“i’m here.” jughead whispered, cradling him as he rocked them back and forth.

“i’m here.”


End file.
